Are editors always this long-faced? 🙂 Maybe we have all seen too many proposals and manuscripts with these errors in them. (See the list below.) In this photo, I’m sitting in the middle of a panel of book editors and agents at CCWC May 2016. We’re all considering a serious question posed by a conferee. But plenty of light, humorous moments occurred at the conference also–and lots of encouragement and inspiration, as well.
One constantly-recurring theme for writers is that we must strive for clarity. To that end, at my workshop on “A Checklist for Writers” I shared my list of writing techniques. Then I offered this bonus “checklist” that uses tongue-in-cheek humor to help us avoid murky writing.
(This list comes from Professor Howard Culbertson at Southern Nazarene University, and I use it with his permission.)
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Don’t use no double negatives.
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About them sentence fragments.
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Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
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Between you and I, case is important.
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Do not submit writing in email or cell phone text format — thx!
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Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
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Use your apostrophe’s correctly. Omit the apostrophe when its not needed.
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Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
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Of course, if any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
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Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
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A writer must not shift your point of view.
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Avoid clichés like the plague. They’re old hat. So, go around the barn at high noon to avoid clichés and colloquialisms.
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Do not be redundant and keep repeating yourself; do not use more words than necessary; eliminate the superfluous in your writing.
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One should NEVER generalize.
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Be more or less specific.
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And avoid starting sentences with a conjunction.
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Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
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Don’t use commas, that are not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
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Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. So, take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
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Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
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Be careful to use the write homonym.
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DO NOT use multiple exclamation points and all caps to EMPHASIZE a point!!!!!!!!
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Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
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Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
Great read!
Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you enjoyed the humor.
Very fun list. One I will have to share with others. Thanks.
Pretty funny!